


Hux and the New Guy

by muggles



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Crack, Disguise, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2016-01-23
Packaged: 2018-05-14 20:53:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5758456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/muggles/pseuds/muggles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo Ren tries to go undercover as "Matt the Radar Technician," but everybody on the ship knows it's him. Everyone... except General Hux.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the SNL skit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FaOSCASqLsE :)

“I’m… 90 percent sure Matt is Kylo Ren,” said the First Order officer, as the stormtroopers around him nodded in agreement. At the moment, “Matt” the “Radar Technician” was kicking a trash can around the break room after learning that the cafeteria had run out of dark chocolate pudding, and only had vanilla.

“I reject the light,” Matt yelled, beating the trash can into splinters with his wrench. “I accept only the darkness!”

The First Order officer discreetly lowered the spoon from his own dark chocolate pudding, and hurriedly hid it on his tray as he stood up to leave. If Matt was Kylo Ren—and, well, he pretty obviously was—he definitely didn’t want to be there when he discovered the cafeteria was also out of chocolate milk.

***

“Who are you?” snapped General Hux, head whipping towards the crouched technician who’d just audibly scoffed. He’d never seen the man before, and he certainly wasn’t the normal radar tech assigned to the main control room—an assignment that usually required top clearance, as anyone present in the room could overhear all the details of their plots. Ever since FN-2187 had betrayed the First Order and, embarrassingly, cast doubt over the legitimacy of Hux’s stormtrooper program, he’d been especially careful to keep an eye on the lower-tiered workers. Plus, he didn’t want to give the insufferable Kylo Ren another opportunity to make him look bad in front of Snoke.

“Who are you?” he repeated, as the tech slowly rose to his full height. Behind him, an officer cleared her throat as though to speak, but another officer touched her on the shoulder and waved her off, as though to say… let’s wait and see where this goes.

“I’m Matt… the radar technician,” he muttered in a low voice, seeming to pointedly avoid Hux’s gaze. There was something familiar about his eyes, even hidden behind large, wire glasses that emphasized the proportions of the man’s long, narrow face. 

“Well, Matt the radar technician,” Hux sneered, “did you have something to add to our discussion, or is your current task simply too difficult for you to finish silently?”

Matt stared at the floor with an intensity that suggested he was about to burn through it with his eyes, jaw clenched, chest heaving as though he were concealing some intense inner physical reaction. Finally, he spoke.

“If you destroy the droid, General,” he said in a slow, calculated tone, “you destroy our one chance to find Skywalker before the Resistance does. They could have made additional copies of the map, which would put us at an insurmountable disadvantage.”

Hux narrowed his eyes at the technician. He was… right.

“I… yes,” said Hux, confused. “Yes. He’s—what was your name again?”

“Matt the radar technician,” he muttered again, as though the entirety of that phrase were his full, given name.

“Matt is… Matt is right,” announced Hux, still in semi-disbelief. “Send your troops to recover the droid, but do not destroy it,” he informed the officer next to him, who nodded and walked off to inform the assigned unit.

“And Matt,” he added, “come to my office later. I want to… discuss some things with you.”

***

Kylo paused at the entrance to Hux’s office. Though they’d been working side-by-side under Snoke for years, he’d never seen—or, really, wanted to see—the inside of his room. And he’d certainly never come close to being invited. Kylo tugged the blond wig flat against his head and wiped the beads of sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand. He knocked on the door, which whirred open.

Hux shifted his attention from the flimsi on his desk, and looked up at him. He stood up and gestured towards a chair in front of the desk.

“Thank you for coming, Matt,” he said. “Please, sit.” Kylo shuffled towards the chair, careful not to make direct eye contact with the General as they sat down. He subtly surveyed the room, which was, as he expected, incredibly tidy—though he smiled smugly as he noted a single tray on the desk was slightly askew.

“I was very impressed with your contributions today, Matt,” said Hux, resting his elbows on the desk and lacing his fingers together. “Have you given any thought as to your desired career path within the First Order?” Kylo swallowed hard.

“I’m… a radar technician?” he said, haltingly. He’d never paid much attention to the lowly workers on the ship, and had no idea what type of hopes and dreams such a peon would have. Until this project, in fact, he’d never really even considered them as individual people.

“Yes, yes,” Hux said, standing from his chair and moving towards the front of the desk, towards Kylo. Hux leaned back on the desk as he continued addressing him. “I certainly understand if you enjoy your current position, but I’d encourage you to look upwards. You have great potential.” Kylo clenched his jaw and nodded. After Snoke’s abusive training methods, however, it did feel nice to have someone acknowledge the value of his skills in a positive way. Even if it was Hux.

“For instance,” continued Hux, “I am in need of assistant counsel for the upcoming strategy meeting. I thought you might be interested in attending with me.” Kylo looked up at the General, though now Hux seemed to be the one avoiding Kylo’s gaze.

Kylo knew he couldn’t attend as Matt—Kylo’s own presence, of course, would be expected in the meeting—but he was thrilled that his character had already been entrusted with such responsibility. Clearly Hux could recognize true talent, when his silly biases weren’t in the way. Maybe he wasn’t so bad after all.

“I will certainly consider it,” said Kylo, a smile dangerously close to cracking at the edges of his mouth. Hux continued looking off into the distance, though Kylo noticed his eyes flickering towards him occasionally, testing him.

“Of course, to work as assistant counsel, I’d need you to remain on call at all hours in case something came up,” said Hux. “So you likely couldn’t maintain any existing external romantic interactions.” Kylo once again saw Hux’s eyes flash down to him for a moment. “If that applies to you.”

Kylo’s breath hitched in his chest. Was he—was Hux asking what it sounded like he was asking? He looked up at Hux, whose cheeks were flushed pink.

“No, I—I’m not… interacting with anyone,” he said. Kylo looked down at his hands as he felt his own cheeks warming uncomfortably. “Currently,” he added.

“Good, great, excellent,” said Hux in an uncomfortable staccato, standing up suddenly and clearing his throat. “If you could alert me to your decision at your earliest convenience, I would appreciate it.” He reached his arm towards Kylo and let it hover hesitantly for a moment, finally patting him briefly on the shoulder. Hux then retreated back behind the desk and nodded curtly as he sat down, adjusting his eyes back onto his flimsi with laser focus. “You are dismissed.”

Kylo stood slowly from the chair, heart thumping in his chest, not entirely sure what had just transpired. “Thank you, Hu—er, General,” he corrected. Hux seemed determined not to look up at him again, so Kylo exited the office and emerged into the bright hallway outside.

The strategy meeting wasn’t until next week, he recalled. Kylo considered his options as he paced the hallway, stormtroopers dodging out of his way despite his impeccable disguise.

He could keep up the charade for another week, he supposed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phasma is suspicious of the new guy, Matt; Hux feels betrayed when Matt defends Kylo Ren in one of their meetings.

Phasma stood at attention at the edge of the room, looking back and forth between Kylo Ren and Matt, Hux’s new assistant counsel, from within her helmet. She had been entirely certain, upon her very first glimpse of him, that “Matt” was no more than an unmasked Kylo Ren in a shoddy wig and glasses. Yet their dual presence at the meeting seemed to belie that conclusion and, furthermore, Hux seemed to be treating Matt with something bordering on affection—and she knew, without a doubt, that Hux hated Kylo Ren.

She continued to observe the pair, watching as Matt sat at the table with Hux standing behind, leaning over to point something out on the datapad in front of them. Hux’s hand rested on the back of Matt’s chair, his chest nearly touching Matt’s shoulder, mouth whispering at his ear. She could scarcely imagine Hux and Kylo Ren operating in such close proximity and not immediately murdering each other, so she resigned herself to the fact that her initial presumptions must have been incorrect.

Phasma shifted her attention to Kylo Ren, who was seated at another desk, and seemed uncharacteristically quiet and agreeable today. Although he had voted down nearly every resolution so far, he had voiced his disapproval with actual votes rather than the destruction of First Order property, so this was an unusually restrained reaction. Perhaps, she dared to hope, he had finally settled into the maturity befitting a First Order leader.

Then again, as the final resolution was rejected and the other leaders and officers stood to leave, she watched carefully as Kylo Ren rose and exited the room quickly—strangely ceding the opportunity to needle Hux about the unsuccessful resolutions. His cape also looked to be dragging on the floor behind him, while Matt, who nodded tersely at her as he passed, met her eyeline as handily as Kylo Ren normally did.

She discretely followed Matt and Hux into the hallway. As they disappeared around a corner, she could have sworn she saw Hux’s hand move to the small of Matt’s back, guiding him forward.

This was going to require further investigation.

***

Hux collapsed into his office chair with a huff, as Matt sat down rigidly in the chair in front of his desk. Hux stared angrily into the distance, jaw tight, holding his fist at his mouth, chest puffing in short, tight breaths. Finally, he collected himself enough to speak.

“I cannot believe he did that,” he said, turning to Matt. “He didn’t approve a single one of the resolutions I authored. Not a single one.” Hux rubbed his temple with his fingers. A few wisps of hair fell out of place onto his forehead, but he didn’t even care enough to fix them, and, to be honest, he didn’t mind Matt seeing him slightly relaxed. “He’s mocking me in front of the council, I know it.”

Awaiting a response, Hux looked up at Matt, who remained curiously silent. Hux had expected that Matt would have understood that empathetic venting was an important component of this position.

“Maybe,” Matt finally said, in a low register, “he actually believed that the resolutions would put the First Order in a precariously vulnerable position.” Hux sat up straight and glared at the man he’d so graciously plucked from the obscurity of common radar repair.

“Are you… defending his actions?” Hux balled his hands into fists, feeling his impeccably trimmed nails nonetheless digging into the fleshy part of his palm. “Are you defending Kylo Ren?” Matt shifted in his seat, avoiding Hux’s eyes, but staying silent.

“Leave,” Hux sighed. When Matt still didn’t move, Hux raised his voice. “LEAVE!”

***

Thrown off-balance, Kylo Ren adjusted his Matt wig as he stumbled out of Hux’s office. On his way towards his quarters, he paused at the door of a supply closet, looking up and down the hallway and opening it as casually as possible. Inside, he located his Kylo Ren robes and helmet, just where the decoy had been instructed to stash them. Gathering them in his arms, he folded the robes to conceal any distinguishing marks, and walked back to his quarters. Careful not to look suspicious, he made pointed, prolonged eye contact with every stormtrooper he passed.

He hesitated at the entrance of his quarters, again cleverly making sure the hall was clear before entering the room so Matt couldn’t be connected to Kylo—he had, he realized, truly thought of everything. When he’d determined nobody was in sight, he entered, shutting the door quickly behind himself and leaning against it with a sigh. He regretted that Hux had seemed angry with him—with Matt—but Kylo knew he couldn’t continue to play the mindless sycophant, even for the benefit of the strange, pleasant feelings they shared in their time together.

Kylo placed his bundle of clothing on the counter, then looked up at his reflection in the mirror. He raised a hand to touch his wig, realizing the blond hair was closer to his natural color than the black hair he now sported. This Matt disguise was just another one of the many identities he’d picked up to hide his true self. He traced his fingers along the side of his face, wondering how long it had been since he’d spent so much time unmasked in front of others. It was a freeing feeling, but also terrifying. He had never truly come to terms with who he really was—Kylo Ren? Ben Solo? Or Matt? 

Breaking his own gaze, Kylo swept his arm across the counter, scattering the robes and helmet onto the floor in disarray. He didn’t know the answer. But even if he might not have a firm grip on his own reality, Hux probably still deserved an apology. Sighing, Kylo turned to leave the room, determined to at least set things right among “Matt” and Hux.

As the door opened, Kylo suddenly came face-to-face with General Hux himself, who seemed to have approached his quarters on a rampage, puffing with anger. But, seeing Kylo in the door, he seemed to deflate instantly.

“Matt?” said Hux. “What are you…” His voice trailed off and Kylo followed his gaze to the black robes and helmet scattered provocatively on the floor.

“I see. Apologies for having disturbed you two,” said Hux, biting his lip, eyes shiny and nostrils flaring. He took a few steps back, then pivoted on his heel and marched away, hands interlocked behind his back.

“Hux, wait, I—“ said Kylo, stepping out into the hall, forgetting his previous caution as troopers edged away from him. But Hux didn’t hesitate, and continued to storm away, until Kylo could no longer see him.

Kylo returned to his room in a daze and closed the door, falling to his knees as he pulled off his wig and glasses. He curled up on the floor, pulling his Kylo robes over himself. And he cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what is this even?? i don't know!


	3. Chapter 3

Hux loosened the buttons at the top of his uniform jacket with one hand as he poured himself a drink with the other. He was alone here, in his private quarters, yet he still couldn’t let himself react outwardly to what he’d just witnessed. Because admitting that he’d been bothered by seeing Matt in Kylo Ren’s room would mean admitting that either of them meant anything to him, and that was something he couldn’t quite let himself do yet.

Closing his eyes, Hux took a sip of the drink and concentrated on steadying his breathing. It would do no good now to catalog every furtive glance he’d shared with Matt, every accidental touch, every dubious excuse they had used to meet, as they had all apparently meant nothing. Hux supposed he must have misread the signals—a rare misstep of observation, and one that he would be sure never to repeat again. He decided he would submit himself for reconditioning in the morning.

A soft buzzer alerted him to the presence of a visitor at his door, likely a junior First Order officer requesting his authorization on some document or other, despite how many times he’d asked them not to disturb him in his personal quarters. He checked his reflection as he passed the mirror, though found it wholly unsatisfying—in addition to the disheveled nature of his now-unbuttoned uniform, his cheeks looked hollow and his hair was mussed. And yet, he couldn’t make himself care enough to fix them, even knowing how hard he’d worked to always cultivate an image of orderly, aspirational perfection in front of his troopers. Maybe he’d just have the officer killed later—after all, wasn’t that what the dashingly, enviably unpredictable Kylo Ren would do?

Hux opened the door, but it wasn’t a junior officer on the other side. It was Matt.

Matt’s eyes were focused unwaveringly on the floor, as usual. “Can I come in?” he muttered. Hux hesitated, but, in the moment, couldn’t think of any plausible reason to deny him entry that wouldn’t betray his feelings further. He stepped aside to let Matt in.

Matt entered the room, and Hux could see him discretely surveying its contents, just as he had done in his office. Hux closed the door behind them, then walked around to face Matt, waiting for him to speak. He crossed his arms over his chest, annoyed and impatient.

“Did you need something from me, Matt?” said Hux.

Still wordless, Matt heaved a sigh and removed his glasses with pointed gravitas, as though the action itself were a statement. Hux stared at him, unflinching and unamused. As he continued to stare, though, he did recognize something familiar in Matt’s face with the glasses removed. Hux realized he knew those eyes, that nose, those freckles. He narrowed his eyes as he tried to place the pieces.

Matt sighed more heavily as he moved to run his fingers through his hair. But, horrifyingly, Hux watched as the hair came off in a blond mass as Matt’s hand passed over it, clumped in his fist as he held it at his side. Hux looked back up to Matt’s head and saw that, underneath what he now realized had been a blond wig, he had fluffy, raven-black hair. Hair that Hux instantly recognized.

“Ren,” he choked out, trying to sound calm but struggling to find his breath. As his brain caught up to his heart, though, he slowly started to connect the preceding events into a cohesive narrative. Anger and hurt bubbled in his throat like acid. “Ren. I never thought anyone would stoop so low. Even you,” he spat. Hux could feel his cheeks growing hot, tears welling behind his eyes, and he suddenly understood the potential therapeutic value of Ren’s destructive tantrums.

Ren moved again, but apparently not to leave the room, as Hux had hoped he would do without discussion. Instead, Ren’s hands fumbled at the buckles of his utility vest, pulling it off and throwing it to the ground in a heap. Great, Hux thought, not only had Ren seduced him as a cruel prank—but now he’d come over to clutter his room as a final insult. 

But Ren’s hands didn’t stop there either, as his fingers pulled down the zipper that lined the front of his flight suit, exposing a strip of his flesh that extended from neck to navel. He slipped the suit over his shoulders and let it drop to the ground, leaving him in nothing but his First Order standard issue briefs. He looked up towards Hux, watching as he watched. Hux surveyed his body approvingly—Matt had been right, Kylo Ren _was_ shredded. He was, however, still thoroughly confused—both by the actions his most hated nemesis, Kylo Ren, was willingly performing in front of him, as well as the tingling sensation he felt in his own trousers upon seeing it.

“I’m tired of masks,” said Ren, stepping out of his shoes and walking towards Hux, who suddenly realized he had backed himself against the wall. Ren approached him slowly, with the steady, languid movements of a predator stalking its prey, now not breaking eye contact at all. And yet, Hux could also appreciate how vulnerable Ren was in this moment—even Hux had scarcely seen his face alone unmasked; most people on this ship had probably never seen an inch of his real skin. But here he was, in front of Hux utterly exposed, now standing almost close enough to hear his heart beat. He had to admit, it was an intoxicating feeling.

Hux let his eyes wander down to Ren’s lips, slightly parted, biting his own semi-unconsciously as he looked back up to Ren’s dark eyes. As Ren leaned his head in closer, Hux felt his fingers trembling, and, desperate to stabilize them, reached out to grab Ren’s hips. Ren felt solid and sturdy in his grip, and Hux ran his thumbs over the smooth, tight muscles as he pulled him closer. Ren kissed him, surprisingly gentle at first, but with a heat that betrayed his true intentions. As Hux returned the kiss, hungrily, he felt as though years of pent-up, repressed emotion were being released from his body. He found exhilaration through the chaos and disorder of this moment, his heart was beating wildly in his chest as Ren pressed him into the wall with his full weight.

***

Phasma crouched at Hux’s door, helmet pressed against its surface, as she desperately craned to hear any hint of the activities of the room’s occupants. She’d been staking out Hux’s quarters since the meeting, and had seen Matt enter the room nearly an hour ago. But, according to her logs, he still hadn’t emerged. What sort of official business could they be discussing for that length of time? Or, if Matt really were Kylo Ren, as she suspected, how could he be in the same room with Hux for that long without a trademark meltdown?

Suddenly, she felt a crash from within the room as it reverberated through the floor, causing her to jump away from the door in surprise. Phasma put a hand to her blaster, unsure if one or the both of them needed rescuing. As she returned to the door, she felt the vibrations again, only this time they were… rhythmic.

Upon making the connection between sound and activity, Phasma straightened to attention and backed cautiously away from the door. She moved briskly down the hallway, bumping lower-ranked troopers out of her way, trying to put as much distance between herself and that room as possible. The First Order barely functioned with Hux and Ren constantly at each other’s throats. She didn’t particularly want to find out what happened when they were getting along.

**Author's Note:**

> [Follow me on Tumblr!](http://elfauno.tumblr.com)


End file.
